The best etiquettes 1

Assalaam alaikum,

Today we will read the traditions, of Mohammad Peace Be Upon Him, number 24, 25, and 26 from English translation of book no 73, Kitab al-adab, [Good Manners and Form (Al-Adab)], of Sahih Bukhari, . In these ahadith we will read what our beloved Prophet Muhammad Peace Be Upon Him said about children. How loving and caring The Prophet was with the children? And while following him, how must we all behave with children?

Number 24: Narrated ‘Aisha: (the wife of the Prophet) A lady along with her two daughters came to me asking me (for some alms), but she found nothing with me except one date which I gave to her and she divided it between her two daughters, and then she got up and went away. Then the Prophet came in and I informed him about this story. He said, “Whoever is in charge of (put to test by) these daughters and treats them generously, then they will act as a shield for him from the (Hell) Fire.”

Money or other assistance given to people in need as charity. Urdu: khajoor. Kindly, large heartedly, openhandedly, generous with money or other material things.  Safeguard, screen, protection.

In the above tradition our beloved prophet, Muhammad PBUH, teach us to be extremely kind to children, specially the girl child. We must behave very kindly to children even if they are not our own. Here we remember, in the days of our Prophet, people used to feel stigmatized and ashamed when a daughter was born to them. This was specially felt among the Bedouins, unlettered and the poor people. They thought daughters were physically weaker than the sons, so could not do physically strenuous jobs like sons could therefore daughters could not help fathers in increasing father’s wealth. Instead money had to be spent on them to be married off. Then daughters were not physically present to help parents in their old age. At that time daughters might be busy helping the parents in laws. A daughter’s kids did not carry her father’s family name. Every one wished to have sons. Sons were usually seen as the protector and helper in old age and son’s kids were the carriers of father’s family name. In many religions sons are thought to be the protector of fathers from the Hell Fire. During the days of our prophet the daughters were buried alive because of that stigma. Our Prophet changed the atmosphere completely for the girl child and taught people to love their daughters, treat them generously and the daughter who is brought up with love, care and generosity of spending on her, will act as a shield for the parents from Hell Fire. All parents know that bringing up children is a big test for them. And in this tradition of our beloved prophet we are told that it is a greater test for parents to bring up a girl child. Therefore a girl child is to be brought up in good manner, with love and care, and generously so that she never feels poverty and destitute for her physical and emotional needs. Our Prophet taught us that for our own old age we must pray to Allah that He Almighty must protect us from the poverty of health and wealth in our old age so we are able to live independently and do not need any type of help from any one not even from our own children. Even in our old age we should be on the giving side rather than on the receiving side, as we remember in another tradition of our prophet that a giver is better than a receiver. We must pray to Allah that with His Almighty’s help we must not see poverty of any kind in our old age and expect only from Allah for all His help in our old age. We are told to pray like this for our old age because Allah tells us that all is in Allah’s hands and we humans are incapable of making or constructing our future ourselves. Because sometimes we humans are not able to get married in life, sometimes we are unable to have children, sometimes we are unable to have sons, sometimes we have sons but our sons die before we get old, and sometimes our sons do not come out to be as resourceful and helpful as we expect them to be, for our old age. So when we are fully depending upon Allah Almighty, there remains no reason of any high expectations from our children, our sons and daughters, concerning our future life. Therefore we do not hate any of our children, their being mere daughters or not being up to the mark, sons. Parents are ordered to bring up their children working up to their best that they can do, AND that should be for the happiness of Allah and not for parents own old age. Although Allah prohibits and stops, parents from having any types of hopes from their children, still we must remember here that Allah orders the sons and the daughters to care best for their both parents, (3 times more for mothers than fathers) when parents become old. Children must care the best that they can do for their parents. It is worth mentioning here that parents include grand parents also (from maternal, mother’s, and paternal, father’s, side. That is from both sides), and great grand parents too, if they are living.

Number 25: Narrated Abu Qatada: The Prophet came out towards us, while carrying Umamah, the daughter of Abi Al-As (his grand-daughter) over his shoulder. He prayed, and when he wanted to bow, he put her down, and when he stood up, he lifted her up.

In the above tradition also we see that our beloved prophet kept the girl child with him even while praying. This again shows his love for a girl child and as we are ordered by Allah to follow the prophet so we must also try to do the same.

Number 26: Narrated Abu Huraira: Allah’s Apostle kissed Al-Hasan bin Ali while Al-Aqra’ bin Habis At-Tamim was sitting beside him. Al-Aqra said, “I have ten children and I have never kissed anyone of them,” Allah’s Apostle casta look at him and said, “Whoever is not merciful to others will not be treated mercifully.”

Messenger, follower of Allah. Looked. Compassionate, kind, lenient, sympathetic, forgiving, gracious.

Hazrat Hasan was the grand child of our prophet (the son of prophet’s daughter). In this tradition the prophet tells us that Allah will not treat a person kindly if that person is not kind towards others. In this case a son.

Thanks for taking out time to read these traditions. May Allah accept all our efforts and May Allah let us all to be good and kind to children. Ameen, thume amen.Samia.


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