Purity of Man-Woman Relationship

Assalaam alaikum,

I found this question and its answer on Reading Islam.com Jack from Qatar posted this question on 28/Feb/2005 He asked a question about the Purity of Man-Woman Relationship. Answer is given by Professor Shahul Hameed.

Question is:

Peace be with you.

I wish to know the reasons for the sanctity of the relationship between unmarried males and females, if you please. I know why, but I wish to satisfy some of my non-Muslim friends by saying the right thing.

I thought it would be better if a reliable source answered this, because I’m afraid I might say something wrong or forget a point, so please help me to say the right thing.

Answer is:

Peace be with you Jack.

Thank you for your question.

The whole edifice of society rests on the family system, and the family is built on sound relationships between males and females. We may say that the right indicator of a society’s moral strength is the proper relationship between men and women.

You know God created mankind in pairs of male and female, as in the case of animals. But one main difference between humans and animals is in the relationship between males and females. There is no compulsion on the part of animals to keep to behavioral norms in society and at home.

It is an indisputable fact that the future of any society depends upon the children of the present. So, it is imperative that children should be given proper moral training as well as the right kind of education, with a view to developing in them the most desirable qualities. The human baby is completely dependent on its mother for the first few years of its development, and so it is absolutely necessary for the mother to take special care of her baby. No surrogate like a nurse or governess can replace the mother. Hence, it is clear that the proper nurture and training of children must necessarily start at home at the hands of the mother and with the full cooperation and support of the father. This has been so during all the past centuries and there is no sensible reason to change it now.
The point I wish to underscore is the role the family as an institution has to play in the development of a healthy society.

Islam emphasizes the overwhelming importance of the right kind of man-woman relationship in the building up of a family. Allah Almighty says in the Qur’an what means:

*{And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your [hearts]: verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.}* (Ar-Rum 30:21)

This verse stresses the need for men and women to live in mutual love and respect at home in order to create an atmosphere of peace for the healthy growth of the family. But if they reject the above principle of mutual relations and go in for mere carnal relations driven by lust, the whole family system is undermined.

The so-called modern society is rife with problems arising from premarital sex and extramarital relations. To many people, freedom means the freedom to do whatever you want with whomever you want. This creates a permissive society, which often means a society where you are permitted to act on impulse and not on thoughtful consideration. The first casualty of this kind of freedom is the dignity of woman.

Today, we find that parties, carnivals, and other free-for-alls have become common in many countries. The consequence of it all is that decency has become an unfashionable word and the female body has degenerated into an object of exhibition and abuse. Thus, the concept of the sanctity of the man-woman relationship is grossly eroded.

All these take their toll on the family. So today we find homes where children live with a single parent, usually a single mother, and they do not have a chance even to know the other parent. These children are denied a pleasant and protective environment at home that is conducive to their healthy development as good members of society. Many parents keep very young children alone at home, locked up, so that they can go out to work, or even to date!

The phenomenon of “latch-key children” is a real problem faced by many Western societies. In such a free atmosphere, there is no wonder that children are delinquents, alcoholics, or drug addicts. Many become victims of brutal parental violence and prone to psychological disorders. All these ills of modern societies can be traced to the wrong kind of man-woman relationship existing in them. Hence, the great importance Islam attends to the subject.

And Allah knows best.

Thank you and please stay in touch.



Thanks for being with me. I pray we all read these lines with the intentions of practicing them and we all become good Muslims as a result. Ameen, thume ameen.


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